Villaintine's Day
by Swashbucklist
Summary: The four most powerful villains in Equestria attend a weekly conference, meaning to discuss the merit and validity of their evil plans. But it's more likely they'll just sit around bickering and judging each other. [A tribute to the golden age of Toonami. No knowledge of Toonami is necessary.]


**11:59 PM, Everfree Forest**

Nightfall in the Everfree concealed a great deal of aggression under its blanket of darkness. The same could be said of the Royal Pony Sisters' ancient castle. Far removed from the pastoral towns at the forest's borders, it stood as strongly as it had for thousands of years, decaying only on the outside. There were many who saw it as a sacred and untouchable place, but the forest disagreed with that notion, as vines, ivy, and other flora had long ago stormed its walls and crept in through empty window frames or up through cracks in the floor.

On the surface, it looked as though nothing within had been considered for frequent use for hundreds of years. However, in an observation tower tall enough to pierce the night sky, a luxury suite was currently substituting as a conference hall. In the center of the room, a candelabra provided warm, intimate light against the moon's cool illumination, which shone through three high windows and an eastern balcony. The candles' orange flickering was just bright enough to light the faces of the three figures gathered round: an asymmetrical character slouching languidly in his chair; a black, chitinous insect whose body was shaped like a pony's and whose hooves were folded under her chin; and the Regent of the Moon herself, Princess Luna.

The princess, holding an attendance sheet and quill in her magical aura, broke the silence.

"King Sombra?" she asked the gathering.

Her inquiry went unanswered for a minute. Then a rumbling sensation rose up through the neck of the tower, increasing in volume and strength to the point where it felt as though the tower would tilt and go crashing down on the rest of the castle. The candles danced so frantically they nearly shook themselves out. Soon enough, a thick black smog made a dramatic appearance. It circled the tower a few times, blotting out the stars, moon, and view of the forest like a thick curtain, and the monstrous wind tunnel it created smelt overwhelmingly of brimstone.

The room's three occupants waited indulgently for the spectacle to be over with.

Eventually, the black maelstrom calmed and gathered itself into the one empty chair at the table, coalescing into a stooped figure whose green and red eyes burned above a malicious grin. It announced itself in a low, demonic growl from which words could not be accurately deciphered.

Luna sighed. "Thou hast presence, if little else. Canst thou merely say 'here' like the others?"

The offended creature's face drooped; it was well-known that he had a speech impediment. He heaved his own sigh. "Yargh."

"Good," Luna said, checking off his name. "Queen Chrysalis?"

"Here," grunted the insect queen seated to her right.

"Check. Discord?"

The mismatched trickster at the opposite end of the table offered a playful wave. "Hiya."

"Good. And alas: Nightmare Moon."

Without batting an eye, Luna conjured a stormy cloud that consumed her from horn to hoof in smoke that crackled with static electricity. Upon dissipating, it revealed a black, armored mare of darkness with gleaming fangs and catlike eyes. "Here."

"And she complains about _you_ being theatrical," Chrysalis mumbled at Sombra.

King Sombra glared at Nightmare Moon, uttering an accusatory, "Yaaargh!"

The dark alicorn folded her forelegs. "I rule a country while raising and lowering the moon every twenty-four hours. It's practically part of my job to be theatrical."

"Oh, skunk fumes to you, we're getting down to brass tacks," Discord said a little too gleefully. He snapped his fingers, incinerating Nightmare Moon's attendance sheet while she was still holding it inches from her nose. Smirking at the annoyed lip-curl he earned from her, he magically produced his own agenda along with a pair of reading glasses that had swirls rather than clear lenses.

Queen Chrysalis leaned back in her chair and folded her hooves behind her head, sighing, "Alight, let's get this show on the road."

"Let's see now..." Discord muttered, "at our last meeting, we brought each other up to speed on our goals and how we previously went about accomplishing them. This week, our precious emcee wants us to discuss our endeavors more in depth, talk about why they're important to us, and perhaps find a few ways to safeguard them against pony interference."

"Yargh urgh wyvergh," King Sombra added.

Chrysalis replied with a snarl, "Quit going on about that stupid dragon, all he did was run and trip!"

"Actually, from the accounts I've heard, he placed his life in more peril than anypony else on that day," Nightmare Moon pointed out. "Even if he wasn't the most _lethal_ force against Sombra, he was definitely the most heroic, and one who took definitive action."

"Fine, I'll add baby dragons to our list of potential threats." Discord sighed and tossed his swirly glasses over his shoulder. Rather than exploding like everything else he seemed to toss over his shoulder, the spectacles promptly transformed into a bat and fluttered noisily out the window.

Chrysalis jabbed a hoof at Sombra. "HA! That makes you the only one who's enemy is a squat little reptile the size of your own head!" Sombra glowered under her condescending cackle.

A loud pop interrupted them. They turned to see Discord suddenly clad in the attire of a judge hammering the tabletop with a gavel. "Order, order!"

"Well aren't you a study in irony," Nightmare Moon said dryly.

He proudly placed a paw on his swelled chest. "I aim to confuse."

"You know, Discord," she continued as the judge mantle disappeared, "I've been meaning to ask you this since last week: why are you here? I'll admit I should be the last individual to raise an eyebrow at anyone _else_ who's been trapped for a thousand years and reformed by pony magic, but your presence does make me curious."

"Pfff! Reformed, reshmormed! Why would the embodiment of chaos form allegiances? My door swings both ways. And speaking of doors, I absolutely _adore_ the way you talked like a bad girl when you got out of the moon, then reverted to archaic-ese when you became Princess Luna again. It makes delightfully little sense!"

"So you refuse to choose the side of good or evil," Nightmare Moon persisted, ignoring the jab. "That only makes me more curious, because you've basically just told us you're neutral. And that means you are not a villain. Again, is there a reason you're at a council of enemies to the country?"

"Of course, you silly horse! Being the physical avatar of chaos makes me a necessary part of the fabric of reality. It's only natural that I feel a tugging desire to enjoy the company of other powerful deities who have all, at one point or another, gotten their butts kicked by ponies." He finished with a snicker.

"In other words, you're here because you feel we're peers as far as power and status are concerned," Nightmare Moon replied sternly. "You're not _actually_ committed to the undertaking of monstrous deeds, but an outsider who could potentially betray us for kicks, is that not right?"

"Who are you calling a monster?" Queen Chrysalis demanded, slamming her hooves on the hard tabletop.

"Now, now, indoor voices," Discord flippantly chastised. "Here, have some of the ass cake I brought." A covered oven dish magically appeared in his mismatched extremities. He held it out to Chrysalis, who merely turned her burning gaze on him.

"Okay, it's not actually ass cake, it's carrot cake." He swiped the cover off, revealing frosted cake baked proportionately in the shape of a pony's rear end. Particularly, the rear end of a scrawny yellow stallion with a pastry cutie mark. Discord's grin was almost as cheeky as the cake itself, but an unamused Chrysalis just intensified her glare. "Okay, _okay_, it's regular carrot cake, happy?" The cake transformed into a less risque dish with carrot heads protruding from it in rows. "Ironically, this makes it plot cake!"

Chrysalis didn't respond beyond narrowing her eyes into smoldering slits.

"Careful or you'll turn Chinese," Discord deadpanned. "Fine, I'll eat it myself. Tough crowd. Though you've certainly perfected your Batmare glare, good job."

Chrysalis finally turned back to the true target of her ire. "As I was _saying_..."

Nightmare Moon waved her hoof to placate the Changeling Queen. "Yes, I remember, but we're villains, honey. We're all monsters here, and you're no different."

"I certainly am not!" Chrysalis shot back defensively, trying not to cringe at the sounds of Discord scarfing cake right next to her.

"You don't have to be ashamed of it," Nightmare Moon huffed. "Even the black-hearted need a little love."

"You clearly never bothered to understand me," Chrysalis shot back. "I have a hive to feed. It's the nature of our food source that makes the things I do to take care of my hive _appear_ evil. Our magic lets us put up facades because that's the only way we can stir up a meal's—er, individual's emotions. It's not our fault we came into existence that way, it's simply what we do. We're..."—she twirled her hoof, searching for the right word—"...misunderstood."

"You know, I always felt that your situation was ridiculously easy to fix," said Nightmare Moon.

The fire and raw hatred in Chrysalis's glare could have burned a hole through the alicorn's head. "Say that again?" she hissed.

Sombra happily exclaimed, "Murh rack om rack!"

"_What_ about my rack?" Nightmare Moon snarled.

"He said, 'we're back on track,' and I agree," Discord put in as he set the empty cake dish aside and smacked his lips. "_Mmmh, yum_ … Much as I love random digressions, this is the reason we're here. Now go on, what's this about our beloved Changeling Queen's modus operandi?"

Chrysalis's eyes continued to bore into the moon goddess while her muzzle was scrunched up in mild disgust. "Yes, let's hear this obvious solution to an issue that consumes my entire race. I'm all ears."

"It doesn't even need much exposition for me to describe," Nightmare Moon replied condescendingly. "You and yours feed off emotions, don't you?"

"A variety of emotions, love being the most nutritious," Chrysalis confirmed in a flat voice, still glaring.

"Then all you have to do is get ponies and dragons and whatnot to love you as Changelings! It's as simple as that."

"Ugh, this argument again... I thought for a moment you had something of substance to offer. How foolish of me."

"Why, oh why, is it _such_ a difficult thing to grasp?" Nightmare Moon lamented mockingly, rolling here eyes. "Emotions come from everyone in every variety. You would elicit things such as fear and aggression, yes, but by conducting yourselves with decorum and otherwise playing your cards right, you could also make ponies feel acceptance, gratitude, admiration, and many other things for you. You would get your precious nutrition, no longer being made to creep around in the shadows."

"And it's just that easy, is it?" Chrysalis replied darkly as she stared at Nightmare Moon with a guarded expression. Her next words were spoken with a cold, venomous softness. "You're even dumber than Sombra if you think anyone could so easily love a Changeling."

King Sombra would have growled at the queen had he not been made uncomfortable by how much pain was hidden in her words. Instead, he exchanged an awkward glance with an equally uneasy Discord. Things had just taken a turn for the sensitive, and even in company whose wounds had long ago become callouses, there was no avoiding awkwardness.

Chrysalis glowered patiently at Nightmare Moon, who was scowling at the position she'd been put in. But before the tense silence could stretch out for too long, the alicorn drew herself up and scoffed.

"Hmph. You make it sound like bucking over a thousand years of slanderous historical accounts is an obstacle. Only for the weak-willed perhaps. Look at me: I was welcomed back to the throne in less than twenty-four hours, and a year later I assuaged a terrified community overnight. And we're talking about a community who freaked out over a bunny stampede. Are you so incompetent?"

"But of _course_ it wasn't hard in the slightest for Princess Luna," the Changeling Queen shot back contemptuously. "You had royal status to fall back on after shedding your Nightmare identity, you had your fellow alicorn sister to stand by your side, and you had _only_ a few dozen generations' worth of ponies being conditioned to fear you." She looked coldly upon Nightmare Moon and her voice descended into a growl. "Changelings have no good side and no shining alter ego to which we can 'return from the darkness.' And we certainly don't have any light in our past to convince a society we can be different: we've _always_ been monsters! Always been—"

"Misunderstood," the alicorn interrupted.

Chrysalis's eyes flared, but lost some of their intensity as her momentum tapered off. "Yes. We're a misunderstood species. It has been that way for as long as we've existed. There is no turning point in our history at which we 'became' evil. We've always been considered monsters." Her voice became a dangerous whisper. "Now tell me that's an easy thing to change. I dare you."

Nightmare Moon stared down her snout at the Changeling Queen for another interstice of silence that no one wanted to see last for very long, nor be the one to break. Only the night's gentle wind interrupted it. The tension between the two powerful monarchs was as palpable as the discomfort among the other attendees. At long last, Nightmare Moon made her counterargument.

"I admit that makes it a bit more of a challenge for you,"—a thud reverberated through the room as Chrysalis's face hit the table with enough force to send a crack racing through it—"but my theory is still valid. The key is how you present yourselves from here on after. Monsters are merely creatures who have earned notoriety due to being drastically misunderstood. It's simply a matter of getting others to understand that you're not psychotic beasts of pure evil."

"So I'm misunderstood, and therefore a monster," Chrysalis muttered, twisting her head on its side to look at the moon goddess. "Well with you to compare myself to, the label doesn't seem so unflattering. _You're_ certainly no monster."

This time it was Nightmare Moon who fixed a glare upon the Changeling. "Care to tell the class what you mean by that?"

Chrysalis sat up. "Monsters are sometimes defined so because they are misunderstood, is that not your point?" Not waiting for a response, she continued, "And there you were three years ago, creating a big splash and making certain _all_ of Equestria understood _exactly_ why you wanted eternal night: because you're a little brat who got upset when nopony liked her macaroni art. You threw a temper tantrum and decided to shove it down all their throats. You even crashed your sister's annual celebration to show off! If that's how low one has to sink to be evil, I think I would prefer being a monster. Your motivation is _petty._"

"'Petty?'" Nightmare Moon repeated breathlessly. Teeth bared and nostrils flared, she roared, "You would dare accuse the one who controls the moon and decorates night's mantle of being _petty?_"

"You expected your subjects to neglect a biological necessity just to stay up and observe your pretty night sky!"

"Sleep is for the weak!"

"It's a weak excuse to go to such lengths! At least _I_ only take one population at a time!"

"You may have a living, breathing hive to look after, but that does not devalue the importance of my own mission!" Nightmare Moon snarled through her sharp teeth. She paused, lifting her chin and squaring her shoulders. "Every night, I take up the responsibility of cooling the earth and bringing peace and clarity to the world. I craft the stars themselves, shaping them into dozens of constellations and numerous other phenomena to captivate any one who wishes to look up to a much clearer sky than what my sister can provide.

"...But a thousand years ago, very few were so captivated. This is something I spent century after century pouring my heart and soul into, which I still do, for the benefit of all who live under the sky." She leered at Chrysalis, who's glower had disappeared. "Do you know what it feels like to give the entire world spectacular works of art every twenty-four hours only to have them met with indifference every cycle? Do you know what it's like to see an entire world dismiss you so easily on a daily basis for such a great length of time?" Chrysalis didn't answer, unsure if the question was rhetorical. She drew back a few inches as Nightmare Moon leaned in so close that she was almost breathing on the Changeling Queen. "Can you honestly claim that wouldn't harden your heart as well, and drive you to desperation?"

Chrysalis frowned as she found herself regarding Nightmare Moon with renewed interest. Not in a more admirable light, but still in a different one. Seconds ticked by as she studied the alicorn's face before responding. "No … no, I can't necessarily claim that I would." She quickly regained some hardness in her demeanor and matched Nightmare Moon's gaze. "Just as long as we are perfectly clear that the survival of my hive is infinitely more important than the respect withheld from you."

"Crystal," Nightmare Moon replied with a satisfied smile.

"_Cryyyssstaaalllsss_, arger bargh," King Sombra interjected.

Nightmare Moon dropped her face into her hoof. "Urgh. _Speaking_ of being misunderstood..."

"You know..." Discord pondered, "maybe it would be helpful to hear about his obsession with crystals. Who knows, it might give us some perspective on our own evil pursuits!"

Before anyone could object, the god of chaos snapped his fingers, causing King Sombra to hiccup.

"_Hic_...Sharder yarg hi_eeee_-beebigergurk! _Ahem_..." Picking up from wherever he had begun, Sombra explained, "...from one of the oldest creation myths in the world, A'm shor you've hard of it."

"Holy horseapples, you made him sound just like that griffon comedian … um, Christopher Hawken!" Chrysalis exclaimed.

Discord replied, "Nope, that's his normal voice."

Ignoring them, Sombra continued, his voice pitching at the end of half his sentences: "Now, as I was saying, this creation myth I'm referring to involves the original gads who gave burth to the warld. They are not around anymore because they invested their essence in the manifestation of the planet and all the life on it."

"_Ahhh..._" Discord held a finger up to his nose as he felt a tickle at the end of his nose.

"But the souls of such powerful beings cannot simply disappear. It is obvious that their essence lives on in what they created. The only non-living element in all of existence, with enough magical property to grow and transform on its own, is crystal."

"_Ahhhhhh..._" Discord's mouth gaped, eyes squeezed shut.

"Crystal is the only part of the arth's mineral composition that responds readily to magic. It is also the only element that can exist as a _living being_: the crystal ponies! This is why I wanted to enslave them. It would mean enslaving the very rock that the gads live in. It would mean possession of the gads' power! It would mean complete and total control of all—"

"AHHH-_CHOO_!"

"—thargerbarger yarg!" King Sombra's rant came to a halt as his speech degraded into nonsense and a wave of cookies explode form Discord's nose to scatter across the table. He shook his hoof at the draconequus, yelling, "YARGER GLARGH MARGH, yer _fargh!_"

"Yes, yes, we got the point," Discord replied, rubbing his nose and sniffling. "So, do either of you ladies have an opinion on our angry little friend's mad rhetoric?

Through a mouthful of crumbs, Chrysalis answered, "Yeah, he makesh me wook wike a shaint an Nighpmare Moom wook shane." She swallowed and tossed the rest of the cookie into her mouth.

"It's not that it's crazy, it's that he's not even remotely inventive," Nightmare Moon contributed. "All he wants is power. _Everyone_ wants power!"

Discord scratched his chin. "I agree, you're not really thinking outside the box, Growly. Your goal is so disgustingly straightforward it almost makes me want to vomit. _Bleh__._" He jabbed a claw at the back of his throat far enough past his uvula to push out the skin at the back of his neck.

"Not to mention the foundations of his plan are set in abstract myth," Nightmare Moon added.

"Yarger MARGH!" Sombra burst out.

Discord was caught off guard by the sudden exclamation. "Wh-What do you mean by that?"

"Hurk farger der largh margh!" Sombra accused.

"That's not fair!" Discord replied with a claw on his chest. "My whole damned purpose in this world is—"

"Wort-wort-wort, honk honk blarg! Nergal wergal, ner fargh blort, harger bargh..."

As King Sombra continued his tirade, Discord's sarcastic pout softened into a frown. Shoulders slumped and face slack, the god of chaos stared at the ranting shadow king in stunned silence.

Sombra finished with a few final sharply-delivered "words" and a firm nod.

"My gosh..." Discord said quietly, disbelief written all over his face. "I never even thought about it like that. You're absolutely right."

Nightmare Moon glanced at Chrysalis to see if she understood a lick of what had just happened, but the Changeling Queen had gone quiet. She was stroking her chin, her eyes focused contemplatively on something only she could see.

"Something on your mind?" the moon goddess asked.

Still forming her thoughts, Chrysalis said carefully, "I was just thinking, maybe Sombra's idea is not so lowbrow."

Discord quickly recovered from his stern tongue-lashing. "Oh, Chryssy. You do realize that entities like us need a punching bag on whom to displace our own flaws, right? I mean, there's a _reason_ we don't invite King Sombrero out for bowling after these meetings."

"Warp!?"

"Sure you don't wanna take another jab at old Somber-face here?"

"No, listen!" Chrysalis snapped. "Desire for power is a basic but truly elemental part of one's heart. Who doesn't want to have more control over the world? It means control over their own life and safety for those they care about. Doing such is always the first step in my invasions. I _need_ to ensure a kingdom is under my hoof before I begin to mass feed my hive." She rounded on Discord. "And you have the power to do that! If only you would take control of—"

"Not happening," Discord cut in, folding his arms in a rare display of firmness.

The Changeling Queen threw her hooves up. "And why not?"

"Because look who you're talking to! Control implies order, you insect who somehow looks like a horse. Remember Moony's reaction when I dressed up like a judge? I don't do order."

"You see?" Chrysalis cried. "We can't even work together! What the hell are we doing in an 'evil gathering' if we can't even contribute to one another's goals!?"

"Probably so we can point out how stupid one another's goals really are," Nightmare Moon grumbled.

"Yerger ra ruperd!"

Nightmare Moon furrowed her brow at Sombra. "What?"

The overdressed stallion leaned over the corner of the table and grabbed her face between his hooves, squishing her cheeks in an intense effort to make her focus on him.

"Yar march harger bargh!"

"Whupf ummup?" she delicately inquired through compressed lips.

"Yer farger jargh!"

"Mwupup wuffle thuffle!"

"Arger perga marber garb!"

She swatted his hooves away. "I can't understand what your saying, you numbskull!"

Discord informed her offhandedly, "Oh, all he's saying is that you could have commanded appreciation from your ponies without winding up trapped on the moon for a millennium."

Nightmare Moon leered at him through one evil eye. "I seem to be repeating this a lot, but … _What_?"

"I think he just explained that there was a much easier way to accomplish your goal," Chrysalis added with a smug grin. "Sound familiar?" Any trace of mild respect she had shown earlier was gone, replaced by a universal desire to tease.

"It's really quite simple," Discord continued. "If nopony appreciated your night, then all you had to do was keep the night to yourself!"

Nightmare Moon's body tensed up, not for the purpose of exhibiting a royal posture this time, but because she found herself dreading Discord's full explanation. She suspected that the words she had used to lecture Chrysalis half a minute ago were about to bite her in the ass.

The god of chaos assumed a relaxed position, hands behind his head and one leg tossed over the other. "See, no one's going to appreciate anything that's forced on them, are they? So instead, you should have hoarded the night! If they can't find it within themselves to stay up another few hours to appreciate the glamor of the most bee-_yoo_-tiful part of the twenty-four-hour cycle, then they just don't deserve it. You should've left them with nothing but daytime, all day, every day."

He produced a cigar and began puffing at it.

"That way, the sun would've baked the land, killing crops, deteriorating water supplies, heating up the earth's atmosphere to unbearable temperatures, all to the point where they would _beg_ and _plead_ you to return the moon to them. And when you finally acquiesced they would REJOICE the return of your cool and gorgeous night. The little ponies would cry tears of relief and thank you for being the stewardess of the moon. Why, it's likely they would've even created a holiday in _celebration_ of the night, rather than that costumes-and-candy thing that commemorates how evil you were."

He exhaled, his smoke quickly taking the form of a Penrose triangle.

"...But of course that's such an obvious idea that I'm certain you thought of it a thousand years ago and no doubt gave it careful consideration before producing some very intelligent reasons for dismissing it and doing what you actually did. Right?"

No response.

"Um … right?" Discord looked up to see Nightmare Moon sitting stock still, her pupils the size of needle points and her mouth hanging open from a slack jaw.

Chrysalis leaned into Nightmare Moon's field of vision. "Hel-_ooo_-ooo. Moony?" She waved her cavity-filled hoof before the alicorn's eyes, which didn't so much as dilate. "I think you broke her," the changeling said. She grinned savagely at the other two. "Nice."

"Goodness, was she _really_ so out of control back then?" Discord marveled.

"Don't sleep on it," said Chrysalis. "She was. Those kinds of emotions cloud judgment. I know better than any of you."

Nodding sagely, Sombra added, "Yarb."

Discord leaned across the table and inserted his cigar in between Nightmare Moon's lips, then gently pushed her mouth shut to hold it in place. Not a single muscle on her face moved voluntarily.

With an air of finality, the draconequus sat back and clapped his claws and paw together. "Welp! I guess that concludes this week's conference. Since our little Moony seems to be indisposed through no fault of our own, it looks like you're coming bowling with us, Sombra."

"Hurrar! Er..." Sombra glanced around at the three of them.

"He likes uneven teams," Chrysalis said without enthusiasm. She got up from her seat and proceeded to the door that led downstairs, muttering, "It's more imbalanced that way."

"'Cept she usually gets another group to play against us, which ruins the fun," Discord pouted.

Chrysalis smirked at Sombra. "We should do just fine as long as you don't end up playing against any short dragons who weigh less than the ball."

Rather than blowing up in a fit of rage, King Sombra flashed his sharpened teeth at her and dissipated into a black cloud once again. He departed with just as much pomp and circumstance as he had upon arriving. His incorporeal form rushed throughout the room before merging with the dark night sky, inadvertently blowing out the candelabra.

"Well, meet'cha guys there!" Discord chimed. Chrysalis looked across the room to see him balancing on the edge of the tower's balcony, strapped into a hang-glider.

"Just a moment," she called. Discord stared back over his shoulder at her. "A few minutes ago … what exactly was it that King Sombra said to you?"

Discord sighed. In a distant tone of voice that sounded as though he were speaking only to himself, he replied, "No one understands me, you know?" He shut his eyes and turned his chin up in an expression that Chrysalis couldn't define as pride or defiance. "He told me...that I'm the biggest monster of all." Then he grinned, his eyes flashing with manic intent, and stepped off the balcony. As soon as he was in the open, a loud pop signaled the hang-glider's transformation into an anvil. The god of chaos dangled beneath it on a string as the massive iron block floated off like a balloon, carrying him away.

Queen Chrysalis rolled her eyes and headed for the staircase like a normal individual, but she hesitated at the door. She glanced back toward Nightmare Moon, who remained as motionless as she had been for the last two minutes. With a gentle sigh, Chrysalis turned and descended the spiral staircase, shutting the door behind her.

Minutes after everyone else had gone, Nightmare Moon continued to stare blankly into the shadowy suite. Her eyes didn't register the room's sudden dimness or the lonely wisps of smoke drifting from dead candle wicks. On the outside, she was a statue. On the inside, however, things were much more frenetic. Her brain swirled maddeningly with memories of one thousand years in her bleak, boring moon, lonely and desolate. These distressingly recent memories lead her train of thought inevitably back to the decisions that had placed her there. Simple, brash decisions driven entirely by emotion with no calculation behind them.

At long last, she let her head fall into her hooves. She released a heavy sigh, allowing her shoulders and wings to droop as well, as if the weight of the world were sliding off her back.

_Here I am in the earliest stages of attempting to adjust them to our,_ she thought drearily, _and our own enemies effectively pierced my self-image with no effort._

Regardless of how tempted she was to indulge in the dark feelings that had been dredged up, nothing productive would come of them. It would be meaningless to regret what couldn't be changed. That was something few villains understood, and it was something she had come to terms with a few years ago in this very castle.

_But of course, I have only myself to blame,_ she reminded herself. _And at least I managed to connect with them to some degree. Though these monstrous subjects may never be brought about to the side of good, there is value in understanding them. And perhaps,_ she considered as her thoughts returned to the observation King Sombra had so easily made, _they may help me understand myself a bit more._

She used her magic to produce a storm cloud that encased her body, sweeping away her armor and returning her coat to its dark blue coloration. Princess Luna once again, she sat for a moment longer in contemplative silence. She finally noticed the cigar Discord had placed in her mouth and, with a heavy heart, took a puff from it...

...causing the end of the cigar explode with a deafening blast. Her wings sprang open, her legs kicked out wildly, and her chair went toppling over backward.

She hooked the table's edge with her forelegs and hauled herself up. The gag cigar, now shortened to a flared stump, had turned the end of her muzzle black. She angrily sought out the three laughing culprits. The sight of furious royalty, marred and glaring at them over the tabletop, only doubled everyone's wild, exuberant guffawing. Chrysalis was slapping the floor with her hoof and Sombra was rolling back and forth.

From between the two villains he had teleported back with him, Discord raised his hand with a grin and aimed it between the princess's fiery eyes gunshot-style.

"Bang."

* * *

Author's Note: Where did this come from? Partly out of a desire to share some observations I had made about one or two villains, but mostly because I just wanted to picture what would happen if these guys sat around talking. I don't think it's anything special, but maybe someone'll me different.

Trivia:

- I only thought of working in actual Toonami quotes at the last minute, so there's only about three or four, and very obscure ones at that. Except for the last one. You need to come out from under your rock if you didn't catch the last one.

- Tracing the order of attendance during the role call makes a backwards 4.

- Pre-read by Derpmind on FiMfiction.


End file.
